Socially accepting the LGBTQ community is important.

  My artwork above.
We need society to accept LGBTQ people as normal. Not because we care about what other people think about us, or because we want others to become gay or to give up their beliefs, but because we are abused and mistreated and shot down in cold blood because so many people see us as immoral, disgusting, and deviant. Being treated as abnormal and immoral is not only hurtful and emotionally damaging, it is dangerous. 
When you say there is something wrong with us or that we are abominations, remember Orlando. 
When you say gay marriage or gender non-conformity will ruin our nation, remember Orlando. 
When you oppose our equal rights and are silent when we are bullied and oppressed, remember Orlando. 
Remember that hurtful and violent people will listen to what you say about us, and and they will always take it much farther than you intend. Your words against us are not harmless, even if your intentions are good. Are you encouraging them to love us, or fear us? Accept us as equals, or see us as threats to their way of life? 
Silence only benefits the people hurting us. Silence encourages their awful actions against us even more. How much violence and harm could be avoided if more people stood up for us when people put us down or mistreat us? 
It’s a shame that it takes a mass shooting for people to take the rampant oppression and violence against the LGBTQ community seriously. How many more of us have to suffer or die before people will put aside their judgements of our personal lives and stand by us as human beings? 

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The Bank of Emotional Goodwill: Some Christians are Abusing It.

In every relationship, there is a level of accumulated emotional goodwill. We’ll compare it to a bank account. We all start out with an empty bank account, and we fill it up with positive interactions with each other. When we ask something of the other person or hurt them, we drain some of that goodwill. If we deposit more than we withdraw, then we have good relationships. If one person withdraws but rarely deposits, we eventually run out of goodwill and then a negative balance occurs- this is when frustration and anger comes up.

Here’s the problem with being a Christian in Americasome of you are constantly draining our tanks of goodwill and you don’t even realize it. You assume that we should be totally fine with how you’re treating us, and that we should never complain about it. Then when you make yet another withdrawal on an empty balance, we snap. You can’t figure out why we’re upset because you don’t understand how you’re draining us on a daily basis.

This is how some of you drain our tanks of goodwill:

  • When people change their beliefs, you make them feel bad about it. “You’ve disappointed us by changing your beliefs and making decisions we don’t approve of. We can’t be happy because you don’t share our beliefs anymore.” Forcing someone to choose between their conscience and making their family happy is a terrible burden to put on anyone. I am not responsible for your happiness. If you cannot be happy because I don’t share your beliefs, then you have a personal problem and you’re taking that problem out on me. That’s unfair.
  • When people change their beliefs, you accuse them of abandoning or betraying you. But we’re just following our conscience, same as you. Just because I started out believing something doesn’t mean I am obligated to continuing believing it. In fact, changing our minds is a normal part of growing up. Of course I started out as a Christian- I didn’t know anything else! One of the worst feelings in the world is knowing that you have failed the expectations of those you love.
  • There is something seriously wrong with you for thinking this way. You are a broken, immoral person for not thinking like us. You must be deceived by the Devil or be mentally compromised somehow; it’s inconceivable that you could change your mind without something being terribly wrong with you. You must be going crazy!” If you have said or implied any of this to your loved ones, then congratulations! You have most likely ripped a hole through their heart and they will forever bear the scars. You have made them feel like a pile of horse dung, destroyed their self esteem and self confidence, and then when they get upset with you for hurting them so much you’ll shake your head and wonder “what did I ever do to them?”
  • Unresolved conflict. Problems don’t just go away because we don’t talk about them. If you’ve hurt someone and have refused to change the hurtful attitudes or actions, or if you won’t even acknowledge that the hurt took place and apologize, then the other person will be forced to deal with that pain in silence even if you have forgotten about it. Every time you post or say something that reminds the person of the hurt you caused them, you are reopening the wound all over again. The only way to solve this is to stop avoiding the problem and fix it head on. If you won’t fix it, then don’t complain when the people you’ve hurt sometimes get emotionally triggered and get upset with you over seemingly nothing. It’s not nothing; it’s all the underlying hurt that hasn’t been resolved. You just poured more salt in the wound and then wonder why they’re mad again.
  • You knowingly and willingly worship a god that you believe will melt the flesh from my bones because I believe the wrong things. The fact that you think I deserve this kind of punishment makes me sick to my stomach if I think about it for too long. Sure, you have a right to believe this way, but you’re not free from how this makes your loved ones feel.
  • You demonize those who disagree with you. It’s one thing to say “I don’t agree with your opinion on this matter.” It’s another thing to imply or outright say that the other person has no morals, is incapable of sound judgment (“deceived by the Devil”), does not deserve compassion if they make decisions you don’t like, and so on. I have many Christian friends, and most of them I get along with perfectly fine because they don’t make me feel inferior to them– we respect each other even when we disagree. So if people are getting mad at how you’re expressing your beliefs, it might be time to reevaluate your methods and attitudes. Don’t blame us for getting mad at you if you’re making yourself needlessly offensive to people.
  • You demean us. “Gay people are unnatural and deviant and they are sexual predators. They will destroy society! I can’t have those perverts around my children. Transgender people are abnormal and shouldn’t be accepted by civilized society. Atheists can’t be trusted. They’re always angry and selfish. They can’t possibly have moral standards and they’re going to ruin society.” Listen carefully- THIS IS VERY HURTFUL STUFF YOU’RE SAYING OR IMPLYING HERE. Also, LGBTQ people face high rates of suicide and assault because these attitudes and inaccurate stereotypes keep being perpetuated and used against us. Something to keep in mind.
  • You tell me what I believe. When my beliefs changed, many Christians immediately applied their atheist/Pro Choice/Feminist/Liberal stereotypes onto me without even bothering to find out who I really was and what I actually believed. And most of their stereotypes were wrong. So they created an image of me in their head that was based on fiction, not fact, and then couldn’t understand why I was upset.
  • You oppress others. Disagreeing with someone is one thing. Even if you’re rude, I can still work around that. But opposing their legal rights? That’s a different story. It’s gone from disagreement to you actively forcing your personal beliefs onto them. Opposing my right to make my own decisions in regards to who I marry, how I plan my family, and opposing my right to not be discriminated against… when you do these things, the message you send is this: “I should make your decisions for you. You aren’t good enough to choose your own path. My personal beliefs are more important than your personal liberty.”
  • Your “Us vs Them” attitude. Mainstream Christianity has declared war on the rest of society because they cannot tolerate the rest of us living or believing things differently than them. And many of you align yourself with this movement and say the same things that they do. If we’re not on the same side as you, then we are either potential converts or enemy combatants. And then when we say “Hey! Back off and let us live in peace! Just end the war already and coexist with us!” you claim that we are attacking you. When you start a war, don’t be surprised when people fight back and tell you that you’re not very nice.
  • You equate disagreement with persecution. People disagreeing with you or telling you that you’re hurting them is not persecution. People asking for the same rights you have is not persecution.

We hear these messages constantly, day in and day out, sometimes with flowery language but sometimes almost as bluntly as I wrote it here. (Did I tell you about the Christian online who told me that I deserved to lose most of my friends when my beliefs changed?)

There is nothing wrong with me for being an atheist, for being Pro Choice, a Liberal, or for not being heterosexual. And yet so many people have made it very clear that these parts of me are utterly unacceptable to them- there is something wrong with me because I don’t agree with them anymore.

I’m crying as I write this. You cannot tell me that I’m deficient and a bad person for changing my beliefs without hurting me deeply. There is nothing wrong with me– and yet you think there is. I will never be whole again in your eyes.

Well guess what? Being rejected and judged for who you are hurts, and it causes low self esteem and stress. So in a way, people create their own self-fulfilling prophecies. “People who leave the faith are always angry and lash out at us!” Well of course we are angry! You spend so much effort making us feel inadequate and bad for not believing like you- of course we will not be happy with you and will probably be mad at your religion when we finally leave it! Yes, sometimes people go overboard (I did at first), but you are also making it pretty rough for ex-Christians and then blame us when we get upset.

The Tank Gets Drained

So our tank of emotional goodwill gets drained, and drained, and drained some more. What happens when the tank gets empty and then you make another withdrawal? It goes into the negative and we get irritated. We develop a short fuse with you. You’re taking and taking without depositing enough to fill it back up again. So when you are not depositing, but then make a withdrawal (like posting another thing that reminds me of how little you think of me), you have now pushed us into the negative. It should not surprise you when we get snappy with you when this occurs- after all, you have been abusing our goodwill bank for a very long time.

Understand Your Position of Dominance and Privilege.

Yes, this goodwill bank account thing does go both ways. You have a goodwill tank with us too and we also need to be mindful of how we treat you in return. I’ve never claimed to be perfect at this, and I’ve apologized before for responding in ways that I shouldn’t. But you must understand the difference in power and social dominance here, and understand that for the most part we are forced to be on the defensive against you when we would much rather just live in peace.

As Christians in the USA, you are in the majority- 70% Christians (of various sects) versus 3% atheists and 3.4% LGBTQ.

Please read those stats again. WE ARE THE MINORITY HERE. BY A LANDSLIDE.

When we say something against you, it is NOT the same as you saying it against us because we do not have the social power and privilege behind it like you do. You’re in the overwhelming majority; we’re so small that we have to scream to even be heard compared to you. We face social ostracizing and rates of physical violence and discrimination that many Christians simply can’t relate to because they’re never had to personally see or experience it for themselves. They’re so used to their position of social dominance and privilege that they can’t comprehend what it’s like to live in the US and not have those freedoms.

Almost all of our political leaders identify as Christians. They pray and believe in God, like you.

For LGBTQ or non-Christians to earn the SAME rights as Heterosexual Christians, we have to fight tooth and nail for it just like women and people of color have had to fight for theirs.

And even when we finally win and get some equality, mainstream Christianity gangs up on us to take our rights away again. How many Christian politicians talk about reversing marriage equality, or ending safe abortion access?

Do you have any idea how many millions of dollars are spent by American Christians just to oppose LGBTQ equal rights? It is literally a nationwide campaign to make sure LGBTQ people have to live by Christian values. And in return? LGBTQ people have never once tried to pass laws requiring Christians to marry someone of the same gender, or to become transgender. All we want are equal rights and to be treated with dignity, just like women and people of color have fought for. That is not persecution. This is us asking to be treated fairly, and Mainstream Christianity is freaking out that they don’t get to control us anymore.

Mainstream American Christianity is a massive social machine with one focus- to make America a Christian nation. Christians of this sort are constantly pushing to have their beliefs be adopted by all of society- and then they wonder why minorities like me, who have very little voting power or social power in comparison to them, get so angry about it. You’re acting like bullies, guys. 70% Christians vs 3% atheists/3.4% LGBTQ and you act like this is a fair fight, or that you are somehow the victims.

So you and people like you are draining our goodwill all the time even if you’re not talking to us directly. We see the things you say and support regarding people like us, and we’re not impressed. We are a pitifully small minority in comparison to you, and yet you use your massive influence to paint us as awful people and you actively fight our equality. Our goodwill bank account is constantly in a state of withdrawal, and we are expected to put up with this treatment from you even when you give us nothing in return and contribute to immense societal harm against us. If we object, then we are accused of attacking you.

Expressing Your Beliefs Without Oppressing Others.

If you want non-Christians to stop getting so easily upset with you, then look at how much you and your fellow Christians are draining from our goodwill banks.

When you tear us down by constantly telling saying how bad you think people like us are, are you making a conscious effort to build us back up again? (And no, telling us about Jesus does not count. That’s only a good thing in your world, not ours.) If you want us to respect you, then stop beating us down with your Bible and politics and start making positive deposits into our lives!

It’s hard to get angry at someone who makes you feel good about yourself. And you know what? When you build people up instead of tearing them down, they may actually start to open up to what you have to say. Even if they don’t agree with it, they’re not likely to be hostile towards you if you have treated them with respect and dignity and supported them when they’re being persecuted and needed help.

If you align yourself with Mainstream Christianity, we may start out very apprehensive or nervous around you because we’ve been burned by people affiliated with you so many times before. You can show us that you’re different- and we’d love to see that! But if you do or say the same things to us that everyone else does, then don’t get offended when we respond to you like we do to them- with irritation and justified anger. You’ve shown you’re no different than the other millions of Christians that have made the USA an awful place for us to live in.

So how can you express your beliefs without being oppressive?

First, stop crying persecution all the time. This isn’t the Middle East. It’s very frustrating when you say we’re persecuting you when we just want you to leave us alone so we can live in peace. Or, for you to say we’re attacking you when we ask to be treated as equals. Yes, some people are jerks and will argue or throw insults over anything and they’re out of line, but most of us have genuine grievances and have good reason to be angry. That doesn’t mean we’re persecuting you.

Second, make sure you are treating us with respect and dignity. You greatly outnumber us, so it gets overwhelming dealing with stuff like this from all of you all the time. Don’t be another hurtful voice in a sea of hurtful voices. You will not win anyone to Christianity that way. You just make people even more hostile to your religion because you’re hurting us with it.

Thirdly, do not oppose our equal rights. You like having the freedom to make your own decisions, right? You wouldn’t want someone else’s personal beliefs to be forced on you, so don’t do that to us. If anyone ever tried to make it illegal for you to go to church, I’d be right there fighting for your rights. Why? Because I stand for equality- not just for me, but for everyone. It would be nice if you felt my rights were worth fighting for too, but if you can’t support me then at LEAST don’t be one of the ones oppressing me.

 

Sorry this was long, but there are years of pain and frustration that needed an outlet. If you took the time to read it all, perhaps you’ll understand me a bit better now. Either way, I wish you well.

 

When the Hateful Accuse Us of Hatefulness (link)

I almost cried reading this article. We’re allowed to be angry. We’re allowed to share our anger and our stories about the hurt we’ve endured and still endure. We’re allowed to point out oppressive attitudes and actions when we see it. We’re allowed to express our anger and hurt even if it makes our oppressors uncomfortable. After all, their momentary discomfort at our expressions of joy and pain is nothing compared to the generations of oppression they have inflicted and still inflict upon us.

Just because we won this single battle doesn’t mean the fight for equality is over, nor does it erase the unimaginable harm they’ve done to us in the name of “love”. We’re allowed to make sure that our immense struggles are not forgotten or toned down to make our oppressors feel better about themselves. It is not hateful for us to show them how they’ve hurt us, to make them aware of the damage they’ve caused and are still causing. It is not hateful for us to be angry at the terrible way we’ve been treated, or to celebrate a victory over their oppression of us. It is not hateful to recover from oppression and live our lives in ways that our oppressors dislike. 

Although I personally don’t agree with the term “fundagelical” to describe anti-gay Christians (I find it unnecessarily abrasive and would personally use another term), after how I’ve been treated and my LGBTQ friends have been treated and countless generations of LGBTQ people have been treated, I think a strongly worded article in reply is more than justified.

But I’m not going to play nice here: the Christians opposing LGBTQ rights have rivers of blood flowing down their hands.

Every single demand that we shut up, give them “respect” (again, meaning: silence and an allowance to keep acting as if they won rather than lost), and stop being “hateful” is being made while they peek at us through bloody fingers. Their hands are so close to their faces that they can’t even see the blood streaming down their wrists.

They have turned their gazes away from the lives they have destroyed, the children they have murdered and abandoned, the bullying they have done, or the constant stream of filthy smears they have made against a marginalized group–marginalized, remember, because of their hateful pseudo-love–that never actually posed a threat to anything of theirs. They can’t see any of that. When this information gets shared with them, they try to silence the messenger–because the message runs so contrary to their crafted and curated self-image. Their emotional paychecks depend on seeing themselves as the “good guys”: the embattled paladins of truth and justice fighting against a monstrous and agelessly-evil enemy. The truth would destroy that image of themselves they hold so dear–and would put into question all the other false ideas they hold. But all of this is their problem and not ours.

Until they wash their hands and get cleaned up, they have no right at all to try to shut anyone up for pointing out their error. We however have every right to talk about that error, and we will continue to do so.

We are not being hateful, and we will not be shamed into silence by those culture-warrior Christians feeling stung over their loss.***

We are not being hateful, any more than they were ever being loving.

Read the whole article here: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/excommunications/2015/07/when-the-hateful-accuse-us-of-hatefulness/#sthash.C3pGWfEH.dpuf

Ugandan Pupils Celebrate Anti-Gay Bill

Uganda-bill-signing-3“Ugandan pupils from different schools take part in an event organized by born-again Christians to celebrate the signing of a new anti-gay bill that sets harsh penalties for homosexual sex, at the Omega Healing Center outside of Kampala, in Uganda Monday, Feb. 24, 2014.”

http://www.lgbtqnation.com/2014/02/kerry-u-s-launching-new-effort-to-combat-anti-gay-laws-worldwide/#.Uw53peme-oo.facebook

I know that not all Christians are like this. However, I think this needs to be seen. This isn’t an isolated incident- these things are happening in many places around the world by Christians, and some Christians even in the US have made it clear that they would like to make things as difficult for gay people as possible.

Many Christians would say that these people are “deceived” or “not true Christians”. But how do you know? Who determines what is a “true” Christian? I’m sure these people think they are the ones who fully understand God’s will- so who is correct?

Here’s what bothers me after reading that article (and many others like it in the past):

1. Many Christians I know speak out very strongly against Muslims, as though they are all the same- violent terrorists. And yet, I look around the world and I see Christians doing horrible things too, sometimes not much different than radical Muslims. Of course that doesn’t mean they speak for all Christians- but neither do radical Muslims.

2. Many Christians I know say that the Bible is the ultimate moral standard, and that without it we would be lawless, murders, and our society would digress. Seeing the harm that many Christians have done to societies, both past and present, I find this extremely offensive and hypothetical. I’m sure it’s not purposefully said to be offensive- but I’m sure you can see the reason behind my frustration. I see articles like this, showing Christian children brainwashed to be so hateful, and I see other examples every day- and then I am told that I have no morals because I’m an atheist.

3. Many missionaries think that “the Bible is all you need”. I have heard people say many times that “If we could only get Bibles there… God would do the rest!” They send Bibles by the thousands to people whose culture is currently violent and oppressive, sometimes to people who barely know how to read, much less deal with complicated theology in a book that can be interpreted thousands of different ways. They hand them out for free like candy on a street corner, where anyone can take them. But when you send a book to a culture that thrives on violence, and that book has lots of violence in it and at first glance appears to condone such violence, what do you think will happen? Do you really think they will take the time to pick out the verses about kindness instead of focusing on the violent parts that they like? Do you think they’ll get the part about the New Testament overriding the Old Testament before taking Levitical law literally, or that they will take your interpretation over the Westboro version? If you must push Christianity on another culture, make sure you teach kindness and love above all else- don’t just throw the Bible at them and leave, hoping they will “get it right”- especially if they are prone to violence or inequality! It’s a disaster waiting to happen.

Is the Hijab a Symbol of Diversity or a Symbol of Oppression?

coca-cola-hijabIs the Hijab a Symbol of Diversity or a Symbol of Oppression? 

I really like this article. I have been very torn about the hijab. One the one hand, I believe it’s wrong to discriminate against someone’s choice of dress or religion. But on the other hand, most women don’t really choose this. If someone wants to wear a hijab, that’s great- I have no problem with that. But the majority of women who wear the hijab do so because they have to, or because they have been raised to believe that they must. When your family will shun you or you can get beat up for not wearing it, or when your religion promises negative consequences, or when you feel like less of a person for not wearing it, then there’s not really a choice- even if you convince yourself that you want to wear it.

I know it’s not exactly the same thing, but I once convinced myself that I liked clothing standards that I actually didn’t like very much too. The Bible college I went to was very conservative- skirts that covered the knee completely and tights to every class and church service, high necklines and nothing tight, no dangly earrings or flashy jewelry, no watching movies unless expressly approved by the staff (they only approved Christian films), etc. At the time, I convinced myself that I really didn’t mind the rules. They were for my own good, they made me a more modest person, I liked them. But I didn’t like them. I love dangly earrings and big jewelry! I loved them before college, and after college I rediscovered my love for them. Back then I would catch myself drooling over clothes that I could never wear there and lamenting because modifying it to be modest enough would have ruined the look. When the formal banquet came around, we had to do a modesty “hallelujah” test- we raised our arms above our heads, and if our armpits or shoulders were showing, we had to wear something else or modify our shawl placement. Many girls wore tee-shirts under their beautiful dresses or sweaters over them in order to meet this very strict standard. It looked friggin’ awful half the time if you couldn’t find an appropriate and stylish shrug and a prom dress with a high enough neckline. Some girls were able to make it look good, but most of the time the beauty of the dress was just lost.

In my particular case, and I think for many other girls I knew there, I believe this was a coping mechanism. In order for me to reconcile with my beliefs, I had to convince myself that I agreed with the rules, throwing out my ability to choose for myself. I told myself I dressed modestly because I wanted to- but that wasn’t really true. Not when I was truly honest with myself, which was very hard to do back then. I dressed modestly because I had to, because it’s what the other people in my faith did in that setting, because I was taught that I was “more spiritual” if I dressed that way. I fit in when I looked that way.

Of course I cannot say that all Muslim women are in the same position I was, everyone is different and their culture is vastly different- but in the few instances I’ve seen where they defend their love of the hijab, I see a similar reaction in them that I once had, except in this case it’s much bigger and more dangerous.

Women should never be oppressed, whether they choose to wear a hijab or not. I would NEVER support forcing a women to not wear one- but I would also highly support any programs that helped to give women a CHOICE. I am torn about the commercial featuring the hijab as a form of diversity- I honestly don’t know what I think. Women who wear hijabs in the US are often bullied for it, so in that regard I am glad to see diversity shown in a public way. But it is more often than not a sign of sexist oppression… should that be glorified in the name of diversity? I don’t know. But I do think this article opens dialogue that needs to be started. If you haven’t read it yet, please see the link above before commenting.

 

Gay Marriage: More Than Just Wanting to Wear the Ring

Gay Marriage: More Than Just Wanting to Wear the Ring

Pinner on Pinterest said this:
“This is why I’m constantly fighting against those who want to use religion and the Bible to deny gay marriage. It isn’t “church recognition” or even “moral recognition” that we are seeking- it’s just the same fair and equal access to basic human rights that heterosexual couples have from “marriage” that are denied to gay couples.”

Fallacies in the Anti-Gay Argument

I’ve heard a LOT of interesting and insulting arguments against homosexuality… here are a few of the main ones and my rebuttals.

“If everyone was gay, humans would go extinct.”

But everyone ISN’T gay, and never will be. Only 5-10% of humans are born with that a homosexual orientation. And it’s not “catching”, so saying it’s ok doesn’t mean everyone will suddenly become gay. This is a very unrealistic argument that is not based on facts, and it’s a common scare tactic used to promote anti-gay sentiments. Every couple in the world having 10 kids could also result in extinction when we exhaust our resources too quickly; but of course that scenario is ridiculous, right?

This also completely ignores the fact that we now have technology to compensate for this. We have surrogates and medical procedures that allow gay couples to procreate. This also doesn’t account for bi-sexual people.

“Sex is about procreation. Since gay couples can’t make babies, their sex isn’t ok.”

I don’t know about you, but when I’m having sex, babies are the last thing on my mind. 😉 Many people can’t have children or don’t want them, many people use birth control to stop this unwanted aspect of sex. Fortunately, sex is about more than procreation: it’s also about intimacy and pleasure. Reducing the act of sex to merely procreation greatly diminishes its beauty and multifaceted purpose. It is also greatly offensive to infertile or elderly couples who cannot procreate.

Gay people can make babies if they really want to. We have technology and surrogates that make this possible. Also, they adopt LOTS of children that straight couples can’t or won’t take care of, which solves a massive problem in our world today.

Sex for the purpose of pleasure, and pleasure alone, is completely normal and beautiful. I love sex! And that’s ok! We’re human beings with hard-wired sexual desires. Religious groups have always tried to relegate and shame human sexual desires and make them seem bad. As long as it involves consenting adults, there is nothing wrong with sex in whatever form people choose to enjoy it. Saying this is wrong is personal opinion, and legislation should not be based on personal opinion.

“Don’t change traditional marriage!”

Traditional marriage has already undergone many changes. Interracial couples can marry, a husband can no longer legally rape his wife, divorce is legal, women are not treated like property, marriages are based on love and are not arranged, etc. “Traditional marriage”, as we know it today, was fought for by activists who wanted equality; it’s not how things worked for most of history. It’s not really that traditional at all, actually. Now we’re seeing that another group needs to be included in our modified, improved idea of marriage. What’s the problem here?

“Marriage is a religious institution.”

A wedding ceremony CAN be religious. A legal marriage is not. You can get married in your backyard by a justice of the peace, or on a boat by the captain. Atheists get married every day, with nothing religious included in their ceremonies. Marriage provides legal protections and rights from the government- churches do not control or provide these things. Marriage CAN be a religious event if the couple wants it to be, but it doesn’t have to be. Religious wedding ceremonies are separate from the legal marriage.

“It’s not natural.”

What defines “natural” for you? What does that even mean? Many animals enjoy gay sex, so it’s not strange to nature. If you define natural as something that nature naturally does on its own, then you’d have to say that cars, pollution-causing power plants, and most of our other technological advances are unnatural.

But of course your gas-guzzling Hummer is natural, but being gay is not. Makes perfect sense. (face palm)

Just because something is natural doesn’t automatically mean it’s good. The “strong dominating the weak” is found all the time in nature, and so are many other unsavory things that we wouldn’t want to copy. And the reverse is also true: just because you may see something as unnatural doesn’t mean it’s bad. I personally think homosexuality is completely natural- but even if it wasn’t, that isn’t exactly a good argument. The “natural” argument makes no sense and is very hypocritical, in my opinion.

“Gay people are pushing their sexual orientation on me.” Or, “Gay people are bullying us.”

Asking for the same rights you’ve always enjoyed is not bullying. By that same logic, black people were bullying white people into giving them freedom and stopping racism. Asking for equality is not asking you to be gay, nor is it persecution for you to be asked to give someone else the same freedoms you have. No one is asking for a law that changes marriage to only include gay relationships- they’re simply asking to be included in it.

If anyone is doing the bullying, it’s straight people. For years gay people have been told that their desires and relationships are disgusting, unnatural, sinful, and that they do not deserve respect or equal rights. They’ve been disowned by their families, verbally harassed, and even beaten up by strangers. Some have been killed even here in North America. Employers can fire someone simply for being gay.

So when gay people finally stand up for themselves and say “That’s not fair, I deserve the same rights as you! And I’m tired of being harassed and oppressed!” Their oppressors have the AUDACITY to say that THEY are being bullied and oppressed! Forgive my language, but that’s pretty fucked up.

“The Bible says it’s a sin.” Or, “It’s just gross!”

No matter how much people deny it, most of the time these are the real issues. The other arguments are just a badly erected smokescreen for their fear, prejudice, or lack of understanding of their fellow humans. Personal beliefs or dislike is not a reasonable cause for denying someone equal rights, otherwise racism would have been justified.

Also, if you’re picturing gay people having sex and that grosses you out, that’s normal. Unless you’re fantasizing about people who turn you on, picturing people having sex can be very gross- gay or straight. If you’re not gay, picturing gay sex can feel just as gross as a gay person imagining straight sex. Maybe you can understand how they feel a little now.

There is a lot of debate on whether homosexuality is actually a sin according to the Bible. When I was a Christian this was a huge deal for me, and this video helped a lot. It doesn’t matter to me now because I’m an atheist, but for any Christians reading this I highly recommended it. It’s very respectfully presented by a knowledgeable person in a church setting.

Thanks for reading my vent. 🙂

-Lilly