Please Stop Using Our Rainbows to Bash Obama.

http://www.ijreview.com/2015/06/354769-social-media-explodes-obama-gives-white-house-makeover-honor-gay-marriage-ruling/

It’s really frustrating to see people using our rainbow displays as an excuse to bash Obama. Can’t you just let us enjoy the fact that we’re finally being treated like human beings in the U.S. without making this all about you?

For us, the rainbow display on the White House means that FINALLY the U.S. is actually showing Liberty and Justice for All- not just for anti-gay Americans. Finally we have an Independence Day that we can actually feel like celebrating because it doesn’t feel like a giant lie. That Rainbow White House is the most patriotic thing Obama could have done this year- he’s given people like me a huge step towards freedom from tyranny and oppression, and that’s the heart of American patriotism isn’t it? Unless, of course, you’re on the side that views our personal freedom of choice as an attack on your religious views. I suppose those people would have a lot in common with the white people who hated Lincoln for freeing the slaves… black people being free certainly did infringe on their religious belief that they were justified in owning other human beings and treating them differently because of their skin color.

Please find another way to express your disgust of our nation’s president besides taking advantage of our symbols of hope and self acceptance to promote your hate of our nation’s leader, which is pretty damn unpatriotic in itself. (And as a bonus, if you are a Christian, the Bible says that God puts everyone in authority and you’re supposed to obey them. I’m not sure how demonizing and ridiculing our president lines up with Romans 13.)

To My Christian Friends who Oppose Marriage Equality

This past week has been a roller coaster of emotion for me. On one hand, marriage equality finally came to the U.S.- although there are still other important areas to be worked on, this was a massive step for LGBTQ equality and that’s wonderful! My first Pride Festival was also a very positive experience; I loved the acceptance and freedom to by myself that I felt there. It was a safe and happy place and I was able to meet other people just like me. I was also very happy to see support from countless Christians in my life this past week- even those that did not personally agree with me were still vocal in their support of my right to choose for myself, and they shared my joy with me even as they stayed true to their own religious beliefs.

But there was another side to this past weekend- Christians who don’t approve of marriage equality did a lot of posting and talking about their feelings on the matter. Of course it’s your right to believe whatever you want and express those beliefs, and I’ll always support that right because freedom can’t be given only to those we agree with- but your words come with consequences. And often it’s other people who have to live with the consequences of words we so causally throw around.

I cried this past weekend. I cried because the way you used your freedom of speech hurt me deeply. You’re not strangers on the internet, people I’ve never met who understandably wouldn’t have as much personal empathy for me. But you are people I know personally, people who claim to respect and care about me. I need to express to you how you’ve made me feel this week, I need you to understand the power of your words to tear people down and push people even farther away from your faith.

1. This isn’t just a simple disagreement.

I disagree with my Christian friends all the time. Our conversations usually look like this:

(Me) “I believe homosexuality isn’t a sin. I don’t believe in sin. Therefore I would marry someone of the same sex if I fell in love with them.”

(Them) “I believe homosexuality is a sin. Therefore I would not date or marry someone of the same gender.”

THAT is a disagreement. We both have our views, we express them respectfully, and neither of us are forcing our views on each other. This, however, is what has been happening with the issue of marriage equality:

(Me) “I believe homosexuality isn’t a sin. I don’t believe in sin. Therefore I would marry someone of the same sex if I fell in love with them.”

(Them) “I believe homosexuality is a sin. Therefore, no one should be allowed to marry someone of the same gender, even if their beliefs say otherwise. I also believe that you are pushing your beliefs on me by even asking to marry someone of the same gender.”

Do you see the difference? You’re not just disagreeing with me, you’re literally telling me that I do not deserve legal freedom to follow my own beliefs if they happen to be different from yours. You want YOUR religious beliefs to be legally enforced on my personal life. That isn’t a disagreement- that is you using your religion to oppress me.

And then, to add insult to injury, you are getting upset at me for even ASKING to be allowed to legally live out my own beliefs, or for pointing out that the way you’re addressing this issue is extremely hurtful and oppressive to the LGBTQ community. My fight for legal equality is presented as an attack on your religious beliefs, even though you’re the ones trying to make me live according to your beliefs and not mine. Me wanting to live out my own beliefs is not an attack on your religious freedom.

When you say we don’t deserve legal equality, you’re saying that we are second class citizens who can’t and shouldn’t make decisions for ourselves. By saying that your personal religious beliefs should trump our personal freedom, that you should dictate how we’re allowed to live our lives, you dehumanize and demean us.

You’re also going against everything our nation stands for, since our nation was literally founding on the idea that all people should be free to follow their own personal beliefs without our shared government promoting any of them over another. The same constitutional clause that unequivocally protects your right to follow your religion also protects me from being forced to follow your religion in any way.

I don’t care what you believe about sin. That’s a matter of personal belief. I may respectfully debate it with you (if we both want to have that conversation), but as long as you’re not shaming, belittling, or mocking me I don’t care what you believe. However- I DO care that you think your beliefs about sin should be enforced and regulated via our shared government, which was founded upon freedom for every American. Freedom and justice for ALL, not freedom and justice for Evangelical/Fundamentalist Christians. Your religious freedoms only extend as far as my freedoms begin. I can’t (and wouldn’t!!) force you to marry someone of the same gender or perform same sex marriages, and you can’t (and shouldn’t!!) force me not to.

2. You have dehumanized and mocked me and my struggles.

This week I’ve watched as my Pride symbols have been taken apart, mocked, belittled, and appropriated to support your own cause. Here are some examples:

Please stop.

The LGBTQ community faces discrimination and persecution that Christians in the United States don’t even come close to understanding. 40% of homeless youth are LGBTQ teens and young adults that were thrown out of their homes when they came out of the closet, or that left home in desperation because they couldn’t stand the constant judgment and stigma from their loved ones. Transgender people face a 66% risk of violence or attempted violence, most have been severely bullied or discriminated against, and 41% of them have attempted suicide because of how society treats them. LGBTQ people are regularly assaulted, harassed, and judged in public places in the United States. Many have literally lost their lives, whether because of violence enacted against them or because of suicide after years of unending societal torment. The LGBTQ community faces a high rate of depression because of the stigmas and discrimination they have to endure.

THIS is what these symbols represent. Our struggles, the blood and tears we have shed, and the hope of one day gaining freedom from oppression, societal violence, and unjust laws. Our flags and colors and symbols represent unimaginable struggle, but also courage and perseverance in the face of overwhelming odds. The rainbow represents HOPE for us, just as it represents hope for you. For us it represents hope that there is beauty after a storm. We can both gain equal and different inspiration from this beautiful manifestation of nature. 

And yet you mock our symbols, manipulate them to promote your own religious agendas, you put our symbolism down to build up your own. And then you wonder why the LGBTQ community gets angry at you?

3. “God will judge our nation for this!” “It’s like Sodom and Gomorrah!”

This is so incredibly insulting. With all the horrible things happening in the world and in the United States, such as sex trafficking and priests sexually abusing children and black churches being burned by racist terrorism, THIS is the issue you think that God will destroy America over? Loving committed relationships will ruin our nation, but the Christian holocaust of Native Americans in our early history didn’t? Our massive slave trade and legalized racism prior to the 60’s didn’t? America’s terrible treatment of the LGBTQ community wouldn’t? If your God would judge America for loving relationships but not these atrocities, then he is an unjust monster that is not worthy of worship.

4. “We win in the end!”

I didn’t see this one specifically on my friends’ posts, but it was certainly being thrown around by a lot of Christians this weekend. Even if you believe this is true, try to see it from our point of view. Your God is going to destroy us anyways in the end, and you’re happy about this? Wow.

5. “One Man One Woman” isn’t just insulting, it isn’t even Biblical.

This one has long been posted by anti-gay Christians, and a huge number of Christians on my Facebook have been posting them this week. it’s by far been the most popular. But here’s the problem: It’s not even Biblical.

While the Bible may not allow same sex marriages (debated hotly in Christian circles), it certainly DOES allow polygamy, sex slaves (concubines) and treating women like property. The only place that says a man should have a single wife is specifically referring to bishops. This is an issue that Christian missionaries overseas have had to come to grips with, since other nations still embrace polygamy even while also embracing Christ. These missionaries had to acknowledge that the Bible doesn’t actually condemn polygamy, and thus they had no right to condemn the cultural practices of the local people. I studied this when I was in Bible college preparing to be an overseas missionary, and I remember having to reevaluate my idea of what marriage meant in other Christian cultures.

“One man and one woman” is NOT the only type of marriage God allowed in scripture, so these memes are far more indicative of your own personal prejudice than of God’s alleged words. So not only are these memes hurtful because you’re making it clear that our marriages disgust you, but they don’t even match what your own Bible says about the types of marriage that God allegedly condones.

And as for the memes that state “I support traditional marriage”: “Traditional” doesn’t mean it’s right. Banning interracial marriages was once traditional too. Treating women like property was once traditional. Marrying girls barely out of puberty (or still in puberty) is STILL traditional in many countries. Until 1993, “traditional marriage” included the legal rights of the husband to rape his wife, and not that long ago wives were not allowed to vote or hold their own property. And the Biblical versions of marriage are VERY different than the marriage traditions we hold today.

“Traditional marriage” is a meaningless phrase that can be translated into “We’ve always done it this way, and I don’t want to change it!” Our laws should not be based on tradition, but on what’s fair and just for all citizens. And sometimes that means challenging and changing traditions that shouldn’t have been traditions in the first place.

6. You Were the Catalyst for Me Leaving Christianity.

Not directly, and probably not for the reasons you’re thinking, but it’s true. Years ago, when I was still a Christian, the state of Maine was voting on marriage equality. Although I believed it was a sin at the time, I didn’t think it was right to force any of my beliefs on non-believers, so I didn’t think it was a big deal. I had several gay and lesbian friends and I supported and loved them even though I disagreed. However, countless Christian friends on my Facebook were not so empathetic. Most of these Christians were people I went to Bible college with, though there were others from my circles growing up.

The message they sent was clear: They did not respect or love these people. They wanted to force their religion on them, and were not above dehumanizing and degrading them to accomplish this. And not only that, but they started attacking and belittling any Christians who dared to disagree with them. I saw this on one of my friend’s pages: “You can’t be a Christian and support gay marriage!” Really? You’re speaking for God now?

Their hateful attitudes and lack of empathy caused me to question whether or not being gay was actually a sin. After all, Jesus never said the things they were saying. Was this anti-gay attitude really Biblical after all? So I dug deeper into scripture and actually listened to other Christians who believed it wasn’t a sin, and I was shocked. The issue wasn’t as black and white as I’d thought- there were other legitimate ways to interpret those scriptures, similar to how we interpreted verses about slavery.

That day I realized two things that shocked me to my very core- One, my Christian circles only accepted me if I thought just like them, and two, that the church that I had trusted to teach me truth had been wrong on something really important. This last realization caused me to dig into other issues as well. Once I started openly questioning my faith, the questions I’d pushed down for years on many issues all came flooding to the surface. Eventually I wondered whether the Bible was divinely inspired, and realized I didn’t think it was. And then came the biggest question of all: Does God actually exist? My answer surprised me, but it was also comforting too because I no longer had to try to explain away the things that had never made sense to me. I no longer had to struggle with cognitive dissonance.

If these Christians in my life had not been so blatantly hateful towards the LGBTQ community and Christians who supported them, I would probably never have started questioning my faith. If my religion had been a source of love and acceptance instead of division and intolerance that was causing immense pain to LGBTQ people I cared about, I would have had very little reason to question those beliefs. But you made it impossible for me to coast along anymore. You forced me to dig deeper, to ask the tougher questions. And for that I thank you.

I want to clarify that I didn’t leave Christianity because of mean Christians. I’m not foolish enough to judge the validity of an entire belief system on the hurtful actions of some. There are mean atheists too, every group has its good and bad members. Truth is not determined by how people act. However, while your attitudes didn’t directly result in my unbelief, it was the catalyst that caused me to begin openly questioning my beliefs.

I know that converting people to your belief system is important to you, and keeping them in the faith is even more important to you- and the way you’re dealing with this specific issue is turning people away from your faith in so many different ways. For some like me, it was the catalyst that got us questioning our beliefs in general and was thus an indirect cause of our leaving the faith to become atheists or agnostics. For others, the hatred and anger coming from the church made them not want any part of it anymore, so they left the church to follow God in their own way, often joining the ranks of the “nones” who have no specific religious affiliation.

Here’s my point: If you want to get people into your faith, and to stop people from leaving it, then you HAVE to change how you’re addressing this issue. You don’t have to compromise your beliefs on sin to acknowledge that how you’re treating sinners isn’t effective and may not be how God would want you to act.

Conclusion:

I love you all, even those of you who have caused me pain this week. I don’t begrudge you your right to express your beliefs just as I express mine. But I need you to understand that how you’re addressing this issue affects me and the rest of the LGBTQ community. It’s hard to see my friends post and say these things, even as they claim to love and respect me. Saying “I love you!” means little when you’re using your religion to belittle and hurt me. And when I’m hurting, sometimes my filter doesn’t work as well as it should. I’m more apt to passionately comment on those posts trying to make you see how hurtful it is. I’m more apt to share posts that may hurt you in return, things that on a normal day I’d refrain from posting. I’m not excusing any reactions I’ve had that may have gone too far, I’m just saying that I’m not perfect and when my friends act this way it feels like I have to defend my right to even exist in their world. I’m saying that in my pain I sometimes lash out because I just want the pain and judgment to stop, and nobody seems to listen when I say things nicely. I’m doing my best to coexist with you, but some days you make it so damn hard.

I don’t expect any of you to change your beliefs on homosexuality being a sin. I’ve never asked that and never will. But I am hoping that perhaps you’ll find a new, kinder, more effective way to address it, just as you address other sins.

Charleston Shootings: It Indicates a Huge Problem that We’re Not Addressing.

The attack in Charleston was racist fueled terrorism. It was a terrorist attack, carried out by a white person who believed that black people were ruining his country. We can’t make excuses for this. Our nation is not post-racial, it’s still divided by hate and unfounded fear of people who are different, and tragically innocent people like these churchgoers are paying the price for the hatred and stigma of others. 

And it’s not just people of color who suffer from this national divide and ingrained hatred of those who are different… other groups face similar violence daily in the U.S. by people with the same kind of attitude.

 

You know what really stopped me in my tracks when reading about this incident? The shooter blamed black people for the problems in this nation. He basically said black people were destroying America. In his words: “You rape our women and you’re taking over our country — and you have to go.”

 

After I became an atheist, I had strikingly similar sentiments directed towards me. “Atheists are ruining our country! Atheists should leave America! Atheists are evil and immoral and will ruin everything!” Over and over and over and over again, like a broken record that I can’t shut off. Even from people I care about, this stigma of “atheists ruining our nation” was and is continually perpetuated and thrown in my face. This hateful and erroneous belief is even taught in churches. Atheists are the enemy, “we must convert them or fight their evil influence and take back our nation!” and so on. And an even worse attitude is levied against the LGBTQA community, which I am a part of too, so now I get a double serving of the “you’re ruining our nation!” stigma.

So what happens when they teach these ideas to someone who’s prone to violence?  

 

WHEN YOU TEACH AND PROMOTE LIES ABOUT ENTIRE GROUPS OF PEOPLE, WHEN YOU ENCOURAGE HATE AND FEAR, VIOLENCE AGAINST THE STIGMATIZED GROUP IS USUALLY THE RESULT.

 

Yeah, I’m text-yelling. I’m yelling because your words have power, and when you say untrue and horrible things about black people or LGBTQA people or atheists or any other stigmatized groups, then YOU are contributing to a culture that is divided against itself, that fosters domestic terrorism against its own citizens on a regular basis. Yeah, you have freedom of speech, you can say what you want. But your freedom may be literally costing people their lives because not everyone has the restraint against violence that you do. They hear your rants about certain people ruining your country, and they jump to the next logical conclusion: The people ruining their country have to be destroyed to restore order and balance.

.

So stop it. Stop perpetuating racism and hatred and misunderstanding of LGBTQA people, atheists, Muslim Americans, and anyone else who dares to not be a white heterosexual cisgender Christian. STOP. If you don’t, then start blaming yourself for these acts of violence committed against them because you’re partly responsible for it.

NO ONE deserves to be attacked or marginalized for who they are or what they believe. No one deserves to live in a nation where other citizens regularly put them down and enact violence against them just because they’re different. I am opposed to terrorism in all its forms- at home and abroad. It just makes me mad to see so many Americans talk about ISIS and then ignore or explain away terrorist acts right in their own backyard. Terrorism isn’t terrorism because someone with a turban does it… terrorism takes many forms, and it happens here among us, by us.

GMO Labeling Will Hurt Farmers and Consumers

Trying to convince you that GMO labeling is unnecessary is not the reason for this post. The need to write is to express my opinion about something I read prior to the elections regarding GMO labeling. A statement I recently read on a Facebook debate made me realize people don’t really understand what it will take to put that label on their box of Corn Flakes.

http://nebraskawheatie.com/gmo-labeling-harvest/

This farmer explains the process of getting grain ready to sell, and described what would have to change to add GMO labeling to food. It’s an excellent article, and it’s great to hear from an experienced farmer, so I highly recommend that you read the full article above before continuing.

Labeling GMO’s isn’t just as simple as slapping a label on it. It would require drastic changes to how farmers process crops and send them to market, resulting in more man hours and higher costs, which hurts the farmers and the consumers. It’s not just a label being put on food; it requires a completely different system that drastically increases the time and money that would be required to grow and sell these crops. I actually didn’t realize how much was involved in labeling until now.

Of course, maybe that’s what the organic industry wants. If they can bog non-organic farmers down with unnecessary costs and time delays, then more people will buy their organic food because they won’t be the “expensive option” anymore. See what’s happening here? They’re saying “label GMO’s!” because it’s a smart way to make their competitor’s have to charge more.

By the way, I’m mentioning the motives of the organics industry to make a point. Anti-GMO activists blame the Pro-GMO ccompanies for lying and manipulating things to boost their profits, but that’s exactly what the organic industry is doing here. They’ve found a very successful way to demonize GMO companies- they ask for labels, GMO companies know that requiring labels will hurt farmers and raise prices for consumers so they oppose it, Organic industry claims they have something to hide and are ashamed of their products. Well played, organic industry. Well played. Now no matter what pro GMO people do, they’re demonized. If they support labeling, then the eventual outrage of farmers and consumers about rising costs will make people hate them. If they oppose labeling, then people say they’re corrupt and hiding something. Either way, the organic industry wins: GMO’s will be less desirable to grow and buy because of unnecessary regulations and costs.

It reminds me a lot of anti-abortion extremists: If they can’t make abortion illegal, they’ll bog clinics and women down with unnecessary costs and hoops to jump through so it becomes difficult and stressful to even consider having an abortion. It’s a bullying tactic and a very effective marketing ploy by the organics industry. And believe me, they’re raking in the profits. Literally, as in they’re a billion dollar industry that thrives on scaring people away from anything non-organic.

GMO’s have been proven over and over again to be safe. Labels are there to warn us of potential dangers, and there are none. The overwhelming consensus of the scientific community is that the GMO’s currently approved are safe and nutritionally the same as their non-modified counterparts. It’s also true that approved, safe GMO’s are being opposed based on misinformation and efforts by the organic industry, resulting in preventable deaths and malnutrition in countries that could greatly benefit from these improved crops. People are literally dying because of anti-GMO activism. It’s not helping people, it’s hurting them! That’s why I blog on this issue, because NO ONE should have to starve or be denied better food just because some people have been misinformed.

If you accept the consensus of the scientific community on climate change, pollution statistics, evolution, and other scientific issues, why do you mistrust them on this issue? Why are you Pro Science on everything else but not this one issue? Either we can trust the consensus of the scientific community, or we can’t. And PLEASE stop calling anyone who supports Monsanto or is Pro GMO paid shills. That argument is offensive, tiring, and untrue, and it makes it look like you have no other argument except to attack our character or mental capacity to think for ourselves. I respect facts and science, not logical fallacies and offensive character assassination.

*disclaimer* I am not paid by Monsanto or any other company or industry. Never have been, never will be. As of this article’s posting date I don’t even make ad revenue on this blog, although I might use Google Ad-sense in the future to help financially (still no connection to Monsanto). I’m also not a scientist or a farmer. I’m just a blogger who actually listens to what the scientists are telling us, as they hit their heads against the walls in frustration as misinformation and pseudoscience runs rampant and real people around the world suffer as a result.

Pro Life in Name Only.

Are you Pro Life, or do you just claim the title? Most Pro Life people aren’t really Pro Life, they’re just Pro Birth. They don’t care about the child after it’s born or when we send it off to war, they only want to ensure that the mother is forced to give birth to him or her.

Side note: This article is not relevant to all Pro Life people, since many of them already do the things listed below. I’m addressing this to Pro Life people who are really more Pro Birth than Pro Life. These groups are not fringe activists, they are actively working to ban and limit abortion, birth control, and women’s rights in general- and at the moment it’s working. They stalk abortion clinic workers, harass women entering clinics even if they’re just getting cancer screenings, and their efforts have literally put women in jail for having miscarriages. They have power and influence, and they’re using it to the detriment of women via social stigma, lack of rights, etc. I’m pleading with real Pro Life people to speak out against these fanatics, because they are NOT Pro Life. They are Pro Birth and Anti-Woman.

If you’re really Pro Life:

Stop pushing women to use adoption when the foster care system is overwhelmed with unwanted kids and you’re certainly not adopting them.

Pro Life groups talk an awful lot about adoption, and yet our foster care system still overflows. If they truly care so much about the unborn, why don’t they start adopting all these kids who need families? After all, they are the ones pressing for adoption to be considered. But few of them ever step up to actually ADOPT these kids that they helped force into the world.

Personally, I think that any Pro Life person who is able to adopt and doesn’t is a hypocrite. Of course there are some Pro Life people who still support a woman’s right to choose even if they personally disagree, who focus on bettering the lives of women so that abortions aren’t needed as much; those people are different and I have a lot of respect for them. But for the Pro Life people standing outside clinics, badgering mothers and railing on them to “just consider adoption!” and demeaning them for daring to choose abortion, they need to stop being so hypocritical. Until foster care isn’t saturated with unwanted kids and the process of adoption becomes easier, you don’t get to pressure women to choose adoption.

Stop opposing contraception, which helps to prevent countless abortions.

It boggles my mind to hear people oppose abortion and then also oppose birth control. Women are not baby factories. We are allowed to have sex without wanting to become a mother. You can personally choose to have lots of unplanned kids if you want, but you have no right to demand that other women forgo family planning just because you do. Also, why oppose free or affordable birth control? Even if birth control was a blatant free government handout, wouldn’t that be better than women having abortions because they couldn’t afford birth control? Wouldn’t it be cheaper than having to pay for Welfare for these kids because their parents can’t afford another child but also couldn’t afford birth control? Aren’t of the unborn worth a few dollars in government spending? We certainly spend enough on war, which ends life, so why not spend a few dollars to save it? Don’t expect impoverished women to support their families and somehow afford birth control in addition to all their other bills, and then deny them abortion when they get pregnant.

Stop opposing LGBTQ adoption.

A loving home is better than an orphanage or foster care. If you actually care about kids’ welfare, then start actively supporting the rights of ALL loving potential parents to adopt. If all those LGBTQ couples were allowed to adopt, we’d see a significant drop in the numbers of kids in foster care and orphanages. Think about it- there’s an entire group of people who can’t always have kids of their own without great effort and financial stress, and many of them desperately want to adopt kids nobody else wants. It’s perfect! It’s nature’s way of making sure all kids get parents! Put aside your prejudice and start supporting this, because it’ll solve so many problems.

Start working to better the lives of mothers and their children.

The US is a terrible place to be a mother- it’s the worst of all developed nations for maternal care and rights. The US also falls behind in economy, healthcare, minimum wage, etc. Focus on these issues so women don’t have to risk going into poverty if they keep a pregnancy. THIS is how we reduce abortions and improve society, not by shaming women and denying them abortion services.

Stop telling lies about abortion.

Abortion has far fewer health risks than childbirth, so pressuring women to carry a pregnancy to term actually increases their risk of medical complications and even death. But Pro Life groups usually say the opposite, they claim that legal abortion is very dangerous despite the overwhelming scientific evidence that says otherwise. By lying to women, they put them at risk. So what life are they really caring about? Isn’t the life of the mother important enough to stop lying to them? Apparently the unborn fetus’ life is so important that it’s acceptable to lie to women and put them at risk. Unborn always take priority over the born in the minds of many Pro Life people.

Stop promoting the Death Penalty and unnecessary war.

If all life is really so precious and every death is a tragedy that should be avoided no matter what, why are so many of you chomping at the bit to see other people die? I just don’t get it. If every single life is inherently precious, than any death should be opposed, right? Again, it seems that you are actually Pro Birth as opposed to Pro Life. But Pro Birth doesn’t sound as nice, does it?

Open Letter to People who say Hurtful Things About Caitlyn Jenner

After seeing the horrible way people are talking about transgender people like Caitlyn Jenner this week, and some of it from people on my FB feed, I have to say something.
Your words have consequences. They affect other people. When you talk about transgender people and say they are just “men dressing like women” or that they aren’t brave for publicly being themselves, you show your ignorance of the issues they face as well as a lack of empathy for the incredible hardships and social stigma they have to deal with every single day. You don’t realize that you are part of the reason why coming out of the closet makes them brave. I’m not trying to put anyone down for their beliefs, only pointing out that the way those beliefs are being expressed is causing immense pain to others. You can believe what you want without using those beliefs as a stick to beat others with, without putting people down for not fitting your religion’s standards or ideals.
Yes, I’m mad. I’m mad because I see how frustrating this is for my friends who happen to be transgender, among many other wonderful things, but people only see their gender identity and not the amazing complete person they are. I’m mad because people think that they can discredit and belittle someone’s gender identity because they think their religion is against it. I’m mad because I just read about another transgender teen who committed suicide because of these hurtful attitudes, and yet another transgender person that someone tried to shove in front of a subway train just for being different.
Your words have power. You can build people up or tear them down. You may not mean to be hurting them, you might think you’re being “righteous” by saying they are bad or their identity isn’t valid, but when you talk about transgender people in hurtful ways YOU are contributing to a society that treats them terribly socially, resulting in a 66% risk of violence for them.
Your religion is no excuse to hurt or demean others with your words and attitudes. Saying their gender identity doesn’t exist, or that it’s evil, is beyond hurtful. If you don’t understand it, then be honest about it and start educating yourself. But PLEASE stop perpetuating the stigmas that are literally causing teenagers to kill themselves and causes people to assault and hate transgender people. It needs to stop, and change begins with every one of us.

A few of the tragic results of your “freedom of speech”:

http://www.rollingstone.com/culture/news/transgender-teen-who-fought-bullying-commits-suicide-20150410

http://www.rollingstone.com/culture/news/read-17yearold-trans-girls-heartbreaking-suicide-note-20141230
Hurtful versions of Christianity: Defend sexual abusers as long as they pray a prayer and say they’re sorry, but demean and invalidate people with a gender identity or sexual orientation that they don’t understand or approve of. Even if it drives them to depression and suicide. As long as they don’t appear to condone “sin”, who cares who they hurt with their words and actions.

Caitlyn Jenner- Why She (yes, SHE) is a Hero.

Lots has happened since Caitlyn Jenner was revealed to the world. For those who somehow haven’t heard yet, Bruce Jenner is no more- now she is Caitlyn Jenner, a beautiful transgender woman who has endured much scrutiny and hatred since she decided to step outside of people’s comfort zones to be herself. She’s a hero- but not everyone feels that way. Lots of people have been making incredibly hurtful comments saying she isn’t heroic at all.

“People who are transgender — yes, including Caitlyn — open themselves up to horrifying levels of hate and discrimination just for the chance to be themselves. The rate of violence against transgender people remains truly staggering in the U.S., as is the lack of understanding within the larger American community about what transgender people go through every day of their lives.

In 2015, the decision to open yourself up to hate for an opportunity to feel comfortable in your own skin is one of the bravest things you can do….

…Of course, this is not to say other people…… are undeserving of an award for their own bravery. Of course they are. But prejudice in this country against the transgender community is undeniable. The vast majority of us cannot and should not pretend to understand how terrifying it must be to come to terms with the fact that what you see in the mirror does not match what you feel in your heart. And we shouldn’t act like we do either.” http://huff.to/1IpbNQF

You think openly transgender people aren’t brave? They face a 66% risk of violence, they are one of the highest at risk minority groups right now. People literally try to assault or kill them just for existing, and that’s not counting the intense social stigma that constantly beats them down.

Caitlyn Jenner is a hero, and anyone who thinks otherwise doesn’t understand how much bravery it takes to be open about being a transgender person. There are many kinds of heroes, and people who stand up against social oppression and stigma are among them. Try walking in their shoes, then say they aren’t brave!! You can have your personal beliefs and still acknowledge that what she did was scary and difficult. You can have your beliefs and still stop saying that transgender people are confused or messed up, because they’re not. You’re not in their heads and bodies, you do NOT get to judge them or assume you know better than they.

Yes I’m mad. I’m mad because I see articles about yet another transgender teen that killed themselves in despair, or another transgender person being assaulted out of prejudice, but people keep saying awful things about them and stoking the fires of prejudice and hatred. Your words have consequences. Belittling or demeaning them causes them more harm than you can possibly imagine. It may literally contribute to their deaths. It’s that serious.

Stop the judgment. Stop the stigma. Stop letting your religion override your compassion and empathy for others. Listen to their stories instead of telling them that they’re just “a man dressed as a woman”, because that is incredibly hurtful and untrue.

Here is a great article for those who would like to understand a bit more of what it’s like to be a transgender person.

http://everydayfeminism.com/2015/06/things-dont-tell-you-being-transgender/

And some of the countless examples of violence against transgender people.

http://www.lgbtqnation.com/2015/06/transgender-woman-shoved-onto-subway-tracks-in-suspected-hate-crime/

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jamieann-meyers/transgender-day-of-remembrance-and-the-transgender-movement_b_6168456.html

Farmer Suicides in India are NOT Caused by Monsanto or GMO’s.

Here is the myth:

“Every 30 minutes an Indian farmer commits suicide as a result of Monsanto’s GM crops. In the last decade more than 250,000 Indian farmers have killed themselves because of Monsanto’s costly seeds and pesticides.”

This is pretty appalling story, and it’s easy to see why people who read it become angry about GMO’s and start to hate Monsanto. If I hadn’t seen the other side of the story, this claim would make me angry too. But the story is not true- at least not the part about Monsanto causing farmers to kill themselves. It’s not just farmers in India who are committing suicide in India- it’s a nation-wide problem, and GMO’s are not the cause.

The number of farmer deaths in India is much less than the general population. According to the report, the rate of suicide deaths among agricultural workers is around seven deaths per 100,000 people, whereas the overall suicide rate in India is close to 15 deaths per 100,000.

“In fact, our study found that the numbers of deaths of men in occupations other than farming was twice as great, meaning there were more deaths in clerical occupations, students, and other occupations than in agricultural work,” he said.

So it’s not just farmers who are affected by this high suicide rate. In fact, they’re less affected than other parts of the population.  So why does the anti-GMO movement ignore this important fact? Do they not care about the other countless Indian people who are driven to kill themselves even more frequently than the farmers?

Or do people’s lives only matter if their deaths can be used to support their anti-GMO agenda?

Sadanandan confirms that more than 250,000 debt-ridden farmers have committed suicide during the last two decades. But he says that the real seeds of despair are financial policies that were implemented by the Indian government in the early 1990s.

In particular, the entry of foreign and new generation private banks has made banking in India competitive and led to fewer loans to agriculture and farmers. With increased competition, banks saw lending to the farm sector as unprofitable and unreliable. This drop in institutional lending forced farmers to borrow from private moneylenders at exorbitant interest rates and increased farm indebtedness. When faced with heavier debt burden that they could not repay, many farmers in India took their lives. This, I argue, happened more in some states—particularly, in states where banking became more competitive with the increased presence of foreign and private banks.

The cause of the Indian suicide rate among farmers is not GMO’s, but the nation’s bad banking policies that are driving people into debt. Other social and economic factors are also likely contributing to the nation’s general suicide problem. But there is no evidence that GMO’s are the cause, or even a supporting cause, of these suicides. Cotton is thriving in India, it’s not failing at all.

But myths are hard to stamp out once they’ve been spread long enough… Especially when the myth is a powerful emotional story that can be used to convince people that Monsanto is pure evil and GMO’s are poison.  Fear, not bad banking policies, sells news.

“An evil corporation dumping genetic monstrosities on impoverished farmers makes for a much sexier narrative than the nuances of financial reforms in the banking sector. And therein lies the real tragedy of farmer suicides in India. Anti-GMO activists, by hijacking this story to cultivate sympathy for their own agenda, are distracting us from the solutions that could actually work.” [emphasis mine]

And this is why I am rapidly losing respect for the anti-GMO movement in general (not individuals who oppose GMO’s, I always respect people even if I disagree.) It enrages me to see the plight of these people turned into an emotional ploy to promote the anti-GMO agenda. Instead of addressing the actual causes of these suicides, which need to be addressed immediately, the attention is erroneously directed against GMO’s and the bad banking policies and other societal injustices are left unchallenged. India is not very friendly to the LGBTQ community, there is a lot of violence and injustice that would certainly be affecting how often LGBTQ Indians take their own lives, but do we hear about that when we talk about the nation’s high suicide rates? Of course not. That doesn’t help the anti-GMO cause. 

If GMO’s are really that bad, then surely they should not have to twist the facts and create sensational stories like this to make their point.

If Monsanto is truly an evil company, then crying wolf with stories like these is only hurting the anti-GMO cause because now I am skeptical of all stories about Monsanto being evil. I’ll certainly research each issue on an individual basis, but the anti-GMO movement has really turned me off to their cause even more than I was before by promoting this despicable false narrative.

I want facts, not lies and deceit. And I’m sick and tired of hearing about how evil Monsanto is when the anti-GMO movement has no qualms about deliberately lying to promote their own agenda, even if it means the real issues get ignored and real people continue to be harmed. But that’s ok as long as GMO’s get banned, right? The end justifies the means?

Sources:

http://seekerblog.com/2014/02/17/vandana-shiva-and-the-gmo-suicide-myth/

http://io9.com/the-gmo-mass-suicides-are-a-myth-1565342067

http://news.nationalpost.com/news/the-myth-of-indias-gm-genocide-genetically-modified-cotton-blamed-for-wave-of-farmer-suicides

The Duggar Sexual Abuse Controversy. Oh boy.

First off, I have nothing against the Duggars personally. I do not hate them, nor do I think they are terrible people. They’re imperfect human beings just like me. I don’t care that they believe in God and up until now haven’t really cared that much about their show or actions, other than their negative activism against the LGBTQ community and women’s rights. But even then, that’s their choice and I respect their right to choose their own beliefs and to fight for them. I certainly fight for my beliefs.

So why do I care about this scandal with the Duggars? (MUST READ: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/lovejoyfeminism/2015/05/what-you-need-to-know-about-the-josh-duggar-police-report.html)

1. Because a crime was committed and the molester was never truly brought to justice. He molested at least 5 girls, including his own sisters while they slept, and he paid hardly any price for it. He wasn’t a child, he was 14 years old- old enough to understand that what he did was wrong. He was never charged with a crime, his record was wiped, and he had to work on houses for a few months and “repent of sin” as his punishment. What kind of response is that? How is that justice when little girls were molested? Instead, they covered it up until the statue of limitations expired and no charges could be filed anymore. He got away with sexual assault.  

I know this was a terribly difficult situation for the Duggar parents to deal with. However, Christians are not above the law. Josh committed a crime, and they purposefully stalled for time so the statute of limitations could expire without him being convicted.

By the time the police were ready to reopen the case, the three-year statue of limitations had already passed.

The police reports claims that Josh confessed to several sex offenses, including “forcibly fondling” of several minor females, stemming all the way back to 2002.

“When police asked Jim Bob to bring Josh in for an interview in 2006, he attempted to hire a lawyer and refused to produce his son for questioning. At least two lawyers refused to take his case,” In Touch reports. “Det. Hignite received a voice mail from Mr. Duggar stating that [redacted, Josh] had hired an attorney and would not be coming in for an interview.”

http://theashleysrealityroundup.com/2015/05/20/josh-duggar-named-as-offender-in-underage-sex-abuse-scandal-report/

This is not just a “sin” that he needs to repent of, it’s a very serious crime that directly harms and affects his victims. Christians can certainly repent of sin if they wish- but this does not negate the need for legal accountability and punishment.

The more abusers that get away with actions like these, the more that the church thinks they are above the law, the more abuse will occur because there is so little accountability and the punishments are laughable.

Why do you think so much abuse happens in the church? It’s no coincidence that the Catholic church regularly hides abuse, protects molesters, and also has a huge sexual abuse problem. The more they hide it, the worse is gets and the more innocent children and other people become victims. The Protestant church is no better; sexual abuse is practically an epidemic in so many Christian camps.

2. I care because not only did the crime occur, but they covered it up. Jim Bob waited a WHOLE YEAR before telling the church. And then the church waited THREE MONTHS to report it to the police. That’s 15 months of him walking around, unpunished, free to molest other girls. Since he sometimes did it while they slept, who knows what else he may have done in more sneaky ways? Did he peek at them while they dressed, while they bathed? Did he molest other girls that he didn’t admit to, perhaps girls that don’t even know because they were asleep? How do we know that all his victims and incidents of abuse are all accounted for, or that he truly doesn’t deal with those urges today?

Jennifer Marsh, vice president of victim services at the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN), tells Yahoo Health that while some juvenile sex offenders continue their patterns of abuse throughout their lives and others do not, the long-term effects on children who have been molested by their siblings has “a lot to do with the factors and terms of whether [the abuse] was disclosed, how the person [to whom the abuse was disclosed] reacted, and whether the victim feels they received support from their loved ones and family” in response to the disclosure of their abuse. https://www.yahoo.com/health/the-worst-part-of-josh-duggars-child-molestation-119612235172.html

The girls he molested had to watch him walk around free. He molested them, and he gets to just go on with his life as though nothing happened while they have to live with the shame, hurt, and confusion caused by his actions. Crimes like this cannot be hidden away as though they never happened… they must be put out in the open so other potential abusers know that they will be held accountable if they give in to the desire to sexually assault or molest someone.

3. I care because these young girls, who were molested by their own brother, had to go on performing for a TV show after the abuse occurred. The abuse happened while parts of their show were being filmed, and the show continued on afterwards. These girls were molested and the show just goes on? I find this very disturbing! Did anyone even ask the girls if they were ok with it? And if they did, would they have actually felt comfortable saying no since the show is a major source of income for their family? Probably not. The parents needed to step up and stop the show so they could focus on their grieving and recovering family without cameras in their faces every day. I can’t even imagine what those girls went through, being filmed every day while trying to come to grips with their assault.

The Duggars had to know that someday the media would find this story. They had to know that if they stayed in the spotlight long enough that eventually this scandal would make the news. So what about how their girls feel, having their stories blasted on the news before they were ready to share them? I can’t even imagine how they must feel right now.

When you cover up stuff and then go on like it never happened, eventually the past comes back to bite you.

3. I care because the Duggars, as well as the Christian communities they come from, believe and teach that their narrow views of sex and morality are the only way to live- and they actively oppose LGBTQ rights and other rights because of those teachings. These groups actively oppose marriage equality and other LGBTQ rights because they see that as “deviant” and “immoral”. And yet even after raising their children in this atmosphere, sheltering them from “evil influences”, it did not stop sexual abuse from occurring in their own family and church. And isn’t it better to be in a consensual homosexual relationship than to sexually assault young girls?

If this was a rare story to hear of sexual abuse in the church, it would be easy to write off as an anomaly. But this story is sadly reminiscent of countless others. Sexual abuse and pedophilia is an epidemic in many conservative religious communities, which seems to confirm what many sex-positive people have been saying all along: When you repress people’s sexuality, it can easily backfire and result in the individual expressing and satisfying their desires in very unhealthy ways. (These communities that cover up sexual abuse also become targets for abusers who want to molest people without consequences or accountability.)

Which leads me to my next point:

4. Strict rules about sex and sexual desire often have very negative results- and people need to see the consequences of these teachings. Christians who were raised to feel ashamed and fearful of sex often have problems in their marriages when it comes to sex and intimacy, and sadly they often don’t get help for it. And that’s not even covering the damaging ideas of gender inequality that can and do result in spousal abuse as the man “controls his wife” in unhealthy ways- all according to Biblical principals of course (or at least that group’s interpretation of scripture). And as I mentioned before, it can also lead to sexual abuse when the person harmfully lashes out against the shame and inability to satisfy their desires.

…Utah, where the highest percentage of Mormons reside, has the highest rate of pornography subscriptions than any other state in the U.S. In addition, the LDS church continuously lists pornography as one of the biggest problems within the church (they even launched a dedicated website to deal with the problem). I don’t see this as a coincidence. The emotions we suppress and try to hide (no matter which emotions they are) simply build up pressure inside of us until they either make us sick, or we act out our emotions in unhealthy ways, either in secret or in public. And because we believe we have done something wrong, this results in guilt and shame. http://pearceonearth.com/healing-sexual-shame/

http://www.redletterchristians.org/the-damaging-effects-of-shame-based-sex-education-lessons-from-elizabeth-smart/

Wouldn’t it have been far better if Josh Duggar had not been raised to abhor masturbation and premarital physical contact? Surely masturbating and enjoying healthy sexual relationships with consenting girls his own age would be better than molesting his sisters and other underage girls! Perhaps if he was raised with healthier ideas of sex and was not cut off and shamed from satisfying his sexual desires and curiosities, he would not have turned to abuse and sexual assault. We cannot underestimate the power of being repeatedly shamed for our desires and being terrified of Hell lest we stray… it’s an incredibly abusive mindset, one that many people believe contributes to the rampant sexual abuse in the church.

I am certainly not excusing him, he and he alone is responsible for his actions against those girls and he should have been charged with the crime he committed. However, I am also pointing a finger at the community that raised him to be so ashamed of his sexuality, the community that may have unknowingly helped trigger this behavior in him by teaching him shame and depriving him of any possible healthy means of sexual release.

**************************

So what happens now? Some factions of Christianity will spin this into an “attack on Christians”, instead of the media just doing what they do to everyone. And to be honest I’m glad they do- because otherwise how many abuse cases would never have seen the light of day? Just because the truth is ugly or uncomfortable doesn’t mean the media is evil for bringing it to light. After all, they’re not the ones who molested these young girls. Let’s remember that as the Christian Right goes up in arms as the crimes of their members are brought into the light of day- Josh is the molester who got away with his crimes, the media is just reporting it.

At the same time, it grieves me to think of how this public scandal affects his victims. Situations like this are so difficult… which is why it should have been properly dealt with right from the start. If they had been open about it, they could have controlled how and when the story was made public. Their girls could have at least been more prepared. By hiding it and still choosing to regularly be in the public eye, they by default chose to allow the media to uncover it in their typical sensationalist manner, since that’s what the media does best. And by fighting against LGBTQ rights under the guise of “family values”, they made themselves a media target for hypocrisy. I don’t really blame the media… I blame the parents and other leadership for how this was handled. And as usual, the victims are the ones who pay the price.

Here’s more info on the story:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/acts-of-faith/wp/2015/05/21/josh-duggar-apologizes-resigns-from-family-research-council-amid-molestation-allegations/

Illustration to be Handed Out at Public Schools: Human Bible Sexually Assaulting Woman

FFRF (Freedom From Religion Foundation) is distributing a pamphlet called “An X Rated Book: Sex and Obscenity in the Bible” that talks about the disturbing and violent sex acts and practices described in scripture. The cover includes a lewd cartoon of a Bible with a human face sticking its hand up a protesting woman’s skirt. Yes, the image is disturbing, I don’t like it- but so is the sexual content in the Bible, which is being handed out to teens and children for them to read whether they’re mature enough to handle that kind of content or not. How can we decry this leaflet when the Bible contains horrific sex acts that children and teens are being encouraged to read? It’s a shocking tactic, yes, but I think it’s a necessary one.

Seidel said he believes the school district backed down from it position banning some of FFRF’s materials after realizing it could not legally keep FFRF from passing out materials while still allowing Bibles to be distributed.

“I think what they tried to say was basically we revisited our initial decision to censor the materials, and have reversed it. I think the reality is probably they were not allowed to do that,” he said. “They cannot approve the Bible, which is full of all the things that are in the pamphlet, and then say that our materials are somehow obscene.”

Read more and see the image here: http://cnsnews.com/news/article/brittany-m-hughes/illustration-be-handed-out-public-schools-human-bible-sexually

They can’t stop the pamphlet because it’s just reiterating what they’re already promoting and passing out in scripture. Calling it obscene would also be calling their Bible obscene. The only difference is that the leaflet highlights the sexual and violent content instead of hiding and ignoring it. But in both cases, students are introduced to the same graphic content.

“I think we recognize that it might upset some people, but the Bible upsets many, many non-believers, especially when it’s being pushed in the public schools,” Seidel said. “So really, all it’s doing is placing believers and people who are in the majority in the position that we in the minority have been in for a very long time, and are in every time the government espouses one religion over another. That’s what we feel like all the time.”

How does it feel to know that your children are being exposed to materials that you don’t feel are appropriate for a school to be promoting? Non-believers have been dealing with this for decades, and have been ostracized and bullied for daring to say anything about it. It’s about time that this practice was called out. I admit the image is a bit shocking and crass and personally I would have probably picked a different one, but on the other hand without this image it would never have attracted the media attention that it has. And sadly, change often doesn’t happen unless an injustice gets enough media attention. Sometimes you have to do legal but shocking things to point out the inequality and injustice of the system.

Perhaps in the future they will disallow BOTH publications, since both are inappropriate for children and teens to read without adult approval and guidance.