“Unbelievers don’t “struggle” with same-sex attraction. I didn’t. My love for women came with nary a struggle at all.
I had not always been a lesbian, but in my late twenties, I met my first lesbian-lover. I was hooked and believed that I had found my real self. Sex with women was part of my life and identity, but it was not the only part — and not always the biggest part.
I simply preferred everything about women: their company, their conversation, their companionship, and the contours of their/our body. I favored the nesting, the setting up of house and home, and the building of lesbian community.
As an unbelieving professor of English, an advocate of postmodernism and poststructuralism, and an opponent of all totalizing meta-narratives (like Christianity, I would have added back in the day), I found peace and purpose in my life as a lesbian and the queer community I helped to create.
It was only after I met my risen Lord that I ever felt shame in my sin, with my sexual attractions, and with my sexual history.”
Articles like this make me want to either burst into tears or go bang on a church door with my fists because it makes me so angry that yet another human being has been shamed into denying who they are because of Christianity.
Before the church taught her that it was a sin, she was happy. Then the church told her she was broken and sinful, and at some point she started believing it. Then she had to deal with the tears, pain, confusion, and struggle of believing that her sexual orientation was somehow immoral and would send her to hell.
This is why I am so opposed to many versions of Christianity… it takes our perfectly natural and beautiful attractions and calls it sinful, disgusting, deviant, unnatural. It forces us to constantly be at war with, or be in denial of, our true nature in order to please a deity or a church community. So many people are pressured to choose between their faith and their sexual orientation. These same teachings resulted in me being in denial of my own bisexuality for years, and have caused so many LGBTQ people to suffer from depression. There’s a reason why the suicide rate in the LGBTQ community is so high… These doctrines are hurting real people every single day.
My journey was the opposite of this woman’s. I grew up with the shame, the guilt. I was in denial of my sexual orientation- really my sexuality in general. Since I was bisexual, it was easier for me than it is for gay or lesbian individuals because I was attracted to “appropriate” potential partners. But the guilt and denial was still there under the surface. When I stopped believing (for other reasons, see my deconversion story), I started to see things differently and was slowly emancipated from this shame and guilt. But it took two years after my deconversion for me to realize I was bisexual; the homophobia I was raised with had been incredibly ingrained within me.
If your religion shames people for their sexual orientation, race, etc, then it is abusive and hurtful and is a negative force in society. It doesn’t matter how nicely you say it, there are consequences when these teachings are accepted by society- real people suffer.